Three weeks ago I sat solo on a large canal boat in Amsterdam, feeling reflective and moved after exploring the museum of the Anne Frank family.
I had landed in this gorgeous city after a five day embodiment retreat in Holland. Huge shifts had occurred in my awareness and as is often the case with deep group process and integration work, I was gently releasing a core wound formed from my childhood - of not belonging.
At 7 pm when the boat rolled in, quite later than the pre-stated time on my ticket, I looked around me.
In the bustling thriving Jordanian quarter of the city I was the only one going on this boat and by the brief look shared by the tour guide and boat driver neither expected it either.
I sat down - right at the back in full ‘outsider’ mode!! - and started to feel self conscious and unworthy. Was I really going to cruise through Amsterdam alone on this conspicuous tourist boat with everyone from the canal side lounging and looking at me oddly? (or so I imagined).
So in that moment I made a choice to see the situation as divinely guided.
I embraced the opportunity of what had manifested, reflecting back a core wound that was on its way to being healed, and as a result something occurred over the next hour that revealed for me the spiritual significance of the throat chakra, the energy centre where the physical embodiment of sound meets our thoughts and intentions.
"The Fifth Chakra: that capacity to make decisions knowing that no matter what decision we make, we can keep our word to ourselves or to another person."
Carolyn Myss, 'Anatomy Of The Spirit'
Often in the field of healing we use phrases such as ‘unblocking chakras’ and ‘moving energy’. Benefits are often discussed in terms of health and wellness - feelings of lightness, a sense of flow, ease in the energy field which can generate internal power and clarity.
All good things to experience!
However, the human chakra energy system has a more profound spiritual significance than hormonal balancing: it reveals the truth of our individual power in alignment with divine will.
For example, as we move up the chakra system beginning with the root we embody several thresholds of what it means to be human.
The root chakra relates to the core safety (or often not) of the ancestral group, tribe, communal belonging, and predictable laws of cause and effect, often described and perceived in legal or physiological terms.
The sacral chakra of the pelvic floor and sexual organs takes us to another stage of individuation - our one-to-one personal relationships, our creativity, money and sexuality and how we learn about ourselves through these ethical dynamics of duality, power and personal exploration.
The solar plexus of the gut-hara-abdomen brings us to our individuation - our personal will and core self esteem, healthy boundaries communicated from our animal energy centre.
The heart chakra is where we sense and feel our emotional world and any wounding as a filter of our experiences.
We begin to cross the threshold towards the greater transpersonal world of the collective and the divine mystery of life. We tap into the power of innocence and love, perhaps as a meditative field of unity consciousness and embodied coherence.
And then we arrive at the Throat Chakra - the bridge between the head and the heart, the mental and the emotional. The place where personal responsibility meets alignment to divinity.
Where spoken statements of will are imprinted into the greater field of quantum memory, one of the reasons why judgement and gossip are spiritually unskillful acts.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Through the throat chakra we are called to become conscious of how an aligned heart-head decision can carry us through all kinds of turmoil.
I remember once saying out loud to myself after a harrowing yet hard to pin down experience with someone intimate, a sort of energy beating, that this person would never step over my physical threshold ever again.
This statement activated something in me that carried me through several bouts of indecision and feelings of guilt at setting boundaries, a sort of internalised gas lighting that kept kicking in.
The wholeness of that initial pronouncement, made in the midst of a tangible physical experience of exhausted confusion and coming from a resolute feeling of inner-will, had a deep - spoken - contractual effect.
In my healing and channelling work I ask my clients whether they want verbal feedback during a session and also invite them - if they wish - to speak aloud their experiences.
The act of embodied speaking - uniting the head and heart - is a profound healing in itself, a form of somatic confession in the most sacred non-judgemental way.
For the throat chakra is more than a physical vehicle to be healthily exercised (although I highly recommend many practices that improve vagal tone such as singing, chanting and Kundalini yoga for releasing stuck energy that prevents us from embodying our power of choice).
The throat chakra is a profound energetic gateway of sovereignty.
So back to the canal boat on a warm August night in Amsterdam.
After my decision to fully accept what had arisen - being the only tourist on that big ol' boat! - I started to relax into it. After the fast zippy bikes and bustle of the city it actually was very soothing.
And then I heard it over the gentle breeze as we smoothly navigated the Amstel waters....repetitive drum and bass.
It was obvious the driver wasn't going to be bothered with any kind of guided tour experience. He had settled into the last ride of the day and was already in his mind on his way home.
Rather than feeling pissed off I felt the echo of an old sting. So what I actually needed wasn't that relevant...or was it?
I sat there for a few minutes and thought 'well I quite like this kind of music!' before realising it wasn't appropriate for me on my paid boat trip.
So I spoke up.
I leaned forward on my seat, called out and politely requested some music that was more relaxing.
In that act of asking for my needs to be met - speaking aloud and thus breaking the spell of the past - something magical occurred.
The driver, sounding surprised but not at all belligerent as if he himself was awakening from the incongruence of rapid drum and bass on a slow summer's eve boat ride through Amsterdam!! put on some Zero 7 (one of my old faves) and then proceeded to ask friendly questions.
Miraculously within five minutes I went from feeling like a low value pauper - sob at the back of the boat! - to a queen on her own private tour with her fave music playing and quirky questions about locations being answered with both historically studious and hilarious personal stories that a whole boat of tourists would have likely missed out on!
As we sailed through the canals people waved and smiled familiarly. All the anxiety I had experienced at the beginning melted away.
(I even found myself laughing at how rich and famous I felt 👑😹)
And then it got even better.
It turned out the driver was not only interested in alternative therapies and wanted to hear all about the retreat and my healing work but was happy to drop me off at the Marina right by the huge Nemo science museum (an hours walk from the start/finish point at Prinsengract but close to my hostel) so I was in fact given a bespoke canal ride home.
And so in summary I discovered - in synchronous clarity - how the act of speaking aloud my own truth and needs from an integrated heart and head space could transform my experience and in turn how others perceived and treated me.
I was delivered one of the core spiritual lessons of the throat chakra - to understand the deep power of our conscious choices - in thought, speech and deed - and to liberate our spirits from the fears of the past.
Thanks for reading ✨